Thursday, February 26, 2015

What's Next?

After a follow up appointment with my reproductive endocrinologist today and a mini melt down in the car, the day can only get better from here. Right?

Last week I had a bunch of blood work done as well as a glucose test. The only positive that came out of it was that my sugar levels are normal. My hormones are still that of a post menopausal woman at 31 years old and have been since I was a baby. Well not really but since I was 16 - half my life now.

I had a little bit of hope after last week because the ultrasound showed my ovaries with "some follicles." Stay positive, right?

I wanted to cry right in her office but I forced myself to hold it in until I walked out. You see, when I found out I had ovarian failure at 16, it didn't really affect me then. I didn't think about it the same way I'm thinking about it now being 31 and recently married.

I really started to feel heat building up on my neck (aka anxiety) when on my way out, they handed me the sheet of paper listing the fees for the egg donation recipient process. Something we are very unsure about.

I just felt very overwhelmed and confused which lead to said mini melt down.

I often ask myself - why me? Then, I try to convince myself that everything happens for a reason. Maybe I was meant to be a step mom and this is God's way of telling me. I go back and forth in my head a lot lately.

Anyway, enough of being a Debbie Downer. On another note, I'm glad I got my workout done early this morning and I'm going to try to enjoy my dinner with coworkers tonight. We're going to an awesome place in my hometown so it should be fun!

Over & Out!

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2 comments:

  1. So, so sorry dear. I am thinking of you. Hope you have a wonderful weekend and can take some time to relax and recharge!

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  2. I'm so sorry Rachel.
    Praying that you find all the answers you're looking for.

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