Step Parenting

I don't really like the term "step" because it sounds so impersonal but anyway, being a step Mom is probably the hardest thing I've ever done. Ok, it might technically be the 2nd hardest because getting an MRI is definitely #1. Just thinking about it makes me break out in hives and shudder at the thought. 

I don't take on the role of disciplinarian. I try to just be there, listen, advise when necessary and help out as best as I can. I'm working on being more vocal if something is bothering me (in all aspects of my life as this has always been really hard for me and initiates anxiety).

I've learned both good and bad about myself in the last year. The "bad" tends to bother me because it's things that I'm now learning about myself at 31. I try to put myself in Saro's shoes and also how he would act if the roles were reversed and it was my teens living with us. He's the most supportive person I know, so I try to think - what would he do? Say?

I've basically always just lived with one person. My Mom and for the last 4 years, Saro. Sharing a small space with two people has been more difficult than I initially thought. It's nothing against anyone. Again, things I'm learning about myself. For me, having the option for family or friends to sleep over was an exciting thought of being a homeowner. It's not the end of the world but just something I think about. I know in a way, I am being selfish and I will be the first one to admit it.

Add in the fertility issues and I've just been really out of it for a while now. I feel like a dark cloud is hovering and I can't seem to get out of this funk. I'm also not sure if these feelings are coming just from this or if it's hormone related, or both. 

I've been off of the pill since November and have finally been able to lose some weight and feel really good physically. I checked My Fitness Pal last night and realized I've been exercising consistently for 3 years, minus a few breaks when I hurt my back, the honeymoon, etc. It's interesting that I've finally been able to drop the weight after going off of the pill. My diet has also changed a bit but not that drastically (definitely less sugar and alcohol - two devils). I really don't want to go back on it since it won't be for the reason of avoiding pregnancy. Soon, I will get blood work done to check my hormone levels and see if I "need" to be on it and if it could be contributing to these feelings.

Right now, I'm trying to focus on the positive - exercise, running, work, friends, looking forward to our trip in a few weeks, etc. Thank GOD the weather is finally warming up. That also helps my mood.

Any readers out there who are step parents? What are your biggest challenges?